Unmentionable

Every human must have got into trouble in their life. Trouble exist to make us better, if we think it further and can solve it with all of high uncomplaining. However, the most of people do not want to be trapped in some troubles. They want to be free and enjoy their life very much, though almost all successful people achieve their dreams after pass so many kind of trouble. One of their troubles is to express what they want to be. Maybe they are shy or afraid about other people argument about their dreams. If we rethinking once more how do we know about their dreams if they are not brave to express it directly to us? How can it become true if they still keep in their heart secretly? This trouble was happened to a girl named Diana Arifiani.
Diana was the third grade of senior high school student. She was retiring with others. She likes studying all about English. Unfortunately, her life journey was not good enough. You know, that was like when you go to somewhere, you think that the place that you want to go to is really your destination. However, when you found something that did not pleasurable, you want to turn back to the place where you were supposed to be. Can you imagine it? Have no many friends, have no many talents, and have no much bravery. What a cheerless life.
Sometimes she wanted to know something that you were expected about living in this world whether it was money or gold or something other reasons. She felt sad along her experience in senior high school because almost all her friends did not respect to her so much. She had no close friend in her school, but there was a man that always curious about her, named Damar Pratama. Damar often sees Diana’s frown face. Damar always pays more attention to her than other friends, because he felt that Diana needed a friend to share her sadness. However, he sometimes confused to invite Diana having chat in school because their friends always put on them. And finally he tried to have a chat with Diana outside the school.
It was Friday afternoon. Diana walked along the street to go home. She was alone against the wind direction. Leaves fall accompanied her journey and it was going to rain. Over and over again she looked unwell. Suddenly, a man called her from the behind she walked.
“Diana!” He was calling out her loud. Diana was looking back to him. She knew that he was Damar, but she was ignoring his call. Diana made her walk faster.
“Hey stop walking, Diana!” Damar was calling out her back louder and make his walk faster too until he was in the front of Diana.
“What do you want? I wanna go home, you’re putting on me!” Diana looked so sick of Damar.
“I know you want to go home. But… why you don’t give much time to let me speak? Please.”
“Speak of what?” Diana was looking away from Damar.
“Huff… okay, I want to know because mmm I’m just so curious about you. Why you look so blue today? Is there any friend that hurt you? Just tell me. I promise I’ll keep it secret.”
“I don’t wanna tell anything to you.” She was staring at Damar.
“Why?”
“You have no rights to know everything about me!” Exclaimed Diana.
“Yes I know, I just want to help you.”
“I think I just waste my time here, so let me go. Don’t make me angry with you. Excuse me.” Diana left Damar that still stared at her. Actually, she wanted to tell her problems to him, but she was still in doubt. She cried after that, cannot hold the burden in her heart.
*****
Diana’s family was not so harmonious like had used to be because her father, Mr. Arifiawan, had been a jobless. He just had been fired from his work because the company where he worked had been closed down. Diana’s mother, Mrs. Arifiawan, often fights with his husband because he did not care with Diana since he had been fired. Diana’s mother worked as a teacher of vocational high school. She worked very hard to make her family survive even though her husband lost his spirit. She wanted Diana to be a successful person in her life. Diana was the only hope for her. She would keep Diana safe forever. That’s a mother. Her affection will never be ended.
One night, Diana and her parents were having dinner together. The situation was very silent. Diana seemed could not say anything to open the conversation with her parents. And finally, her mother opened it.
“Well, how’s life today, Diana?” Asked Mrs. Arifiawan.
“Not too terrible, Mom.” Answered Diana.
“Really? But your face seems lying.”
“No need to worry about my face.”
“I wonder why?”
“Just go to eat, Mom.”
Suddenly, Diana’s father was asking something important for Diana.
“Do you interest about English?”
Diana directly was staring at his father.
“How do you know, Dad?”
“I ask you. I don’t tell you that you interest about English. So I haven’t known it yet.” said her father sensitively.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to…”
“Okay, it’s over. I’m going to my room now.” Mr. Arifiawan interrupted Diana’s talk and he left the dining room. Diana and her mother just could let him go. Diana was still wondering why her father suddenly asked like that to her. Diana thought that her father began to care about her.
*****
In Diana’s classroom, English teacher, Mrs. Annie, talked about what life it is. She talked about it when the class was going to be over. She had her own argument about the definition of life. The students were listening to her with full of attention. Mrs. Annie was one of the favorite teachers in that school. She could make her students love her subject with exceptional guidance.
“So, life is simple. You ought to obey the God’s will and stay away from God’s prohibition. If you do a mistake to your friends, you just should ask apologize to them. If you have been helped by someone, just say ‘thank you’ to him or her. If you think you have many troubles, you can share it all to your mother. Your mother would know everything about you.” Explained Mrs. Annie.
“So, who agree with my opinion? Just raise your right hand please.” Wondered Mrs. Annie.
All students in that room raised their right hand, except Diana. Mrs. Annie then walked to Diana’s bench. She would ask her about the reason.
“All students agree about my opinion and except you, Diana. May I know why you didn’t agree?” Asked Mrs. Annie.
“Mmm… I don’t know, Ma’Am.” Answered Diana. Spontaneously all her friends laughed at her after listening to her answer, but Damar and some friends did not do it. Damar wanted to help Diana, but he had not any courage enough to stop his friends laughing.
“Stop it all!” Exclaimed Mrs. Annie.
“Maybe, I think life is so complicated. I mean… there’s no easy way to achieve our dreams. We need a sacrifice, but… there’s no chance for silent girl like me even to get a friend.” Stated Diana to Mrs. Annie with her low voice.
“Don’t be sad, Girl. Everything’s going to be OK. Take heart.” Said Mrs. Annie. Then she walked back to in the front of the class.
“Alright Class, don’t be too ignorant to your friends. That’s not good. We should respect other people although they don’t have a good sympathy to you. I know it’s hard. Try to understand, this world is temporary. You just stay awhile here. Remember? I said that life was simple in order to make you all be more patient to face this life. You will face the real life after you dead. So, be careful of what you do. Make Indonesia as the country that always keeps the civility and the honesty. Be a good citizen. Indonesia’s future depends on you. Ok, time is over. I should go now. I hope you think back of what I’ve said. Good morning.” Said Mrs. Annie.
“Good morning, Ma’Am.” Answered all students. After Mrs. Annie left the class, suddenly the leader of the class, Taufik, walked to in the front of the class and spoke to his all friends.
“I want to talk about something. Please pay attention to me.” Said him.
“What are you talking about? It’s time for a break. Don’t hold us.” Said Chira, one of his friends in the class. She was very fussy.
“You want to go? Please… Just you and I’ll keep hold them.” Said Taufik pointing to Chira’s close friends.
“Hey… okay, I’ll stay here!” Exclaimed Chira with her anger. Chira did not go.
“I don’t care. Well, I ask you to stay here to talking about us. Before I start to tell you, I want to ask some people here. Who is your friend here, Diana?” Asked Taufik to Diana.
“I don’t know. I feel have no friend here.” Answered Diana.
“Okay, and then… Damar. Who’s your friend here?” Asked Taufik to Damar.
“All people in this class are my friends even in this school.” Answered Damar.
“It’s very contrary to Diana’s answer. However, Diana doesn’t think that you are her friend. What about it, Damar?” Asked Taufik to Damar again.
“Because she thinks that she is Damar’s girlfriend. Hahaha.” Suddenly Chira interrupted their conversation and almost all students laughed at Diana and Damar.
“Stop it!!! Don’t f*ck around with me!” Exclaimed Taufik hitting the table. “Enough Chira, you may go out if you really do not enjoy this moment.” Taufik was evicting Chira.
“Upsss… sorry, Leader. I enjoy this moment so much.” Said Chira.
“Okay, I don’t want to ask it again to Damar. Now, who’s your friend here, Chira?” Asked Taufik to Chira.
“Of course they are Nera, Fanny, and Lusi. We are friends, forever.” Answered Chira.
“From your answers I can make conclusion that Diana has no world, Damar has the entire world, and you Chira just has your own world as another five groups in this class. I know you all!” Said Taufik.
“Why you are talking like that? Am I wrong if I become their friend?” Asked Chira.
“After all, who’s created a group in this class?” Asked Robi, another Taufik’s friend.
“Oh… you really haven’t known yet, Robi? Need I mention one by one?” Asked Taufik to Robi.
“No, that’s not necessary. I begin understand.” Answered Robi.
“Actually, we all begin separated. We are not one. Please realize it. Don’t act like your close friends are the only your world! We all are friends here. Don’t you know? Please respect the differences. We cannot live just with two or three people. We need all people here. I’m sure there’s no useless person in this world. Can we respect each other from now on?” Asked Taufik seriously. Damar raised his right hand.
“Yes Damar, speak please.” Commanded Taufik.
“I agree with your statement. I just want to add it. Guys, you know God not only created talkative and active persons, right? We all created here to manage this world. Can we build this world with our togetherness? I believe we all that have talkative character just know little information about silent people…” Said Damar.
“You mean Diana?” Interrupted Chira.
“It’s not just about Diana!” Exclaimed Damar.
“Be patient, Damar.” Said Taufik.
“Don’t interrupt my words before I complete it. I believe silent people need more attention from us who have talkative character. I invite you to begin mingle with silent people. Please don’t ignore them. They also need friend. Help them to be active like us. That’s one of the usefulness of active people. Thank you for the time, Taufik.” Said Damar. All Damar’s friends in the classroom clapped their hands after listening to Damar’s words.
“I like your last statement, Damar. One of the usefulness of active people is to help silent people. So, can we make a deal from now on to respect and not to hurt each other?” Asked Taufik.
“Yes we can!” Said all Taufik’s friends.
*****
It was time to go home. Since Taufik had talked in the front of the class, Chira and friends became kind to Diana. They began pay attention to her. What a significant changing of them.
Before went home, Diana took the time to look at the bulletin board. She got the information about TOEFL test at one of the famous company in Indonesia. The TOEFL scores would be acknowledged and students who could reach scores more than 600 would get the opportunity to be interviewed at the company to get a scholarship to UK. She then smiled and noted the requirements on her private book. Suddenly, there was a man patting her shoulder.
“Hey!” Greeted that man.
“Ah!” Diana was shocked and dropped her private book. “Oh my God, Damar. You make me shock.”
“Hahaha, sorry… I make your book dropped.” Damar took Diana’s book.
“Don’t touch my book!” Diana seized her book from Damar.
“Sorry. I think that book is so important for you.” Said Damar.
“Yes it is. I’m sorry too.”
“By the way, what are you doing here?” Asked Damar curiously.
“Ehm… I’m doing nothing. I just want to note something. Yes, that.” Said Diana nervously.
“What something?”
“It’s not your business.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Whatever. I’m going to back home now. Bye.” Diana began to leave Damar.
“Do you want to go to UK?” Asked Damar. Diana stopped her step to go.
“Why you’re suddenly asking about that?”
“I think you have just looked at the bulletin board about TOEFL test.” Said Damar. Diana kept silent. She could only bow her head.
“Is it true? Never mind if you don’t want to tell me about it. Sorry for disturbing you. Please continue to note the information.” Damar left Diana, but Diana then called him spontaneously.
“Damar!” Called Diana.
“Yes Diana?” Responded Damar.
“I’m sorry…”
“I know you always keep everything secret. It’s your privation. I have no rights to know it. Never mind if you still keep silent about your wishes. If unmentionable becomes your choice, I understand. Good luck. I keep my finger crossed for you.” Said Damar and then he walked leaving Diana.
*****
Diana had been doing the TOEFL test. She felt unwell after that. Diana was thinking about the result of TOEFL test every day, even she forgot while final examination would be coming next week. Many of her friends that had been accepted in their favorite university included Damar. He had been accepted in University of Indonesia majoring in computer science. Diana had not registered to various universities yet. She still confused about what she wanted to be in the future. She had no talent except her passion in English. She wanted to sign with the major in English education, but she did not want to be a teacher. She wanted to sign with the major in English literature, but she doubted about that. She needed more time to think about it all.
Two weeks later after final examination, the result was announced. Diana had passed the final examination with the average scores, but she was very grateful of what she had got. Since the announcement of final examination result, Diana also had not registered to university yet. Her mother was worried so much about her. She confused about what her daughter wanted to be. Diana decided to stay at her house all time after the graduation. She was very curious about the result. After all, she didn’t know when the time would be come.
A month after graduation, Mr. Arifiawan got a call from Mrs. Annie. He should meet her at school to talk about Diana. So, Mr. Arifiawan made an appointment with Mrs. Annie for the next day.
At 8.00 a.m. Mr. Arifiawan went to Diana’s high school to fulfill the appointment.
“Good morning, Mrs. Annie!” Addressed Mr. Arifiawan.
“Morning. Oh Mr. Arifiawan? You’re Diana’s father, aren’t you?” Asked Mrs. Annie.
“Yes, I am. What’s the point, Madam?” Asked Mr. Arifiawan.
“Please sit down, Sir.”
“Thank you.”
“Mr. Arifiawan, I invite you here to ask for your permission.” Said Mrs. Annie.
“Ask for permission about what?” Mr. Arifiawan was curious.
“Your daughter is very amazing, Sir. Don’t you know?”
“I haven’t got the point yet of what you said. Please make it right.”
“Diana got fantastic TOEFL scores, Sir. Her TOEFL scores are six hundred and twenty. She can be recommended to continue her education to London. This is the result.” Explained mrs. Annie and then she gave Diana’s TOEFL result to him.
“You mean that I should give her permission to register the scholarship to UK?”
“Yes Sir. She is worth to get it.”
“Are you crazy? She is the only daughter that I have and I should release her to UK that so far away from here. And what do you know about my family?” Mr. Arifiawan disagreed about Mrs. Annie recommendation.
“Please hold your emotion, Sir. I know it’s very hard for you and your wife, but I think you should know about what your daughter wants, Sir. She did it for your family happiness too. Please don’t be selfish.”
“I don’t give a damn. I disagree about it.” Said Mr. Arifiawan, stayed with his argument.
“Sir, please… that’s her dream. English is her thing. Don’t avoid it.” Mrs. Annie tried to understand him.
“So let her just study in Indonesia. Do you mind about it?
“Sir…”
“I don’t want to talk anymore. My decision is absolute. Please understand. Excuse me.”
Mr. Arifiawan left Mrs. Annie’s room with carried the result. He was very upset about Mrs. Annie recommendation. Mr. Arifiawan loves Diana very much. It’s hard for him to let Diana went so far from him.
*****
It’s Sunday. Diana went to the market with her mother. Mrs. Arifiawan wanted Diana to refresh her mind. Diana had not known yet about the result because Mr. Arifiawan didn’t tell her. He was very scared if Diana knew about it, she might demand him in order to allow her went to UK.
An hour after Diana and her mother left the house there was someone who knocked the door. Mr. Arifiawan opened the door and he found a man standing in front of him.
“Good morning, Sir.” Greeted the man.
“Morning. Who are you?” Asked Mr. Arifiawan with his curiosity.
“I’m your daughter’s friend. My name is Damar.” Answered the man.
“I’m sorry, but Diana is not here now.”
“My business is with you, Sir.”
“I don’t understand. What do you want, Son?”
“Sir, I know you’d been at school to take Diana’s TOEFL scores and I’m sure you’ve not told her yet about it. Sir, please let her and allow her to reach her dream.”
“How dare you are! You don’t know anything about me. Don’t act like you know everything about this condition!”
“I know your daughter, Sir. That’s the only her hope. Please let she or you will regret of what you did.”
“Oh… if anything happens to her, do you want to take a blame of her? Can you assure me that she will be safe there? Who stupid people that can guarantee it all?!!”
“I beg for sorry, Sir. I just want to make Diana doesn’t grieve anymore. She seemed so upset along her journey at senior high school. She almost has no friend. She is silent girl. She chose to be alone everywhere. She was angry when I tried to close to her, ‘till I know when she stared at bulletin board that she very wanted to expert in English. UK might be her destination. You ought to understand her, Sir. Please try…”
Suddenly, Mr. Arifiawan was speechless after listening to Damar’s words. He stared at Damar deeply.
“All decisions are yours, Sir. I just can give you suggestion. I think I should go now. Thanks for your time. Good morning.” Damar left Mr. Arifiawan.
Mr. Arifiawan realized that he was wrong. After Diana and her wife came back home, he then handed in the result to Diana. Diana was very happy after knew about it. Firstly, she didn’t ask for anything from her father. She just can be grateful of what she had achieved. When she told her mother that she wanted to register to a university, suddenly her father interrupted it. He told Diana that it would be better if she could continue her study to UK. Diana was very surprised. She hugged her father spontaneously. Her mother was crying when looked her husband and her daughter could be happy. Her father told that he and Mrs. Arifiawan would accompany her to have interview in order to get the scholarship. And if Diana was accepted, they of course keep accompany Diana until UK.
And finally, after trying hard and praying every day, Diana got the scholarship to UK. Endlessly she gave thanks to Allah SWT for everything. After that, Diana and family were preparing all the things that probably they needed to go there.
*****
The time to go abroad had come. At the airport, Diana and her mother were waiting for Mr. Arifiawan that would be coming late. Diana could not wait to fly to UK soon. She still could not believe that her dream would be come true momentarily. She told her mother that she had a friend that so kind with her. She seemed sorry because had not said goodbye yet to him. However, Mrs. Arifiawan seemed knowing who her friend is. She then saw her husband came with a man. He was Damar. When Diana looked at Damar, she was very excited and surprised.
“Damar!” Called Diana. “How do you know him, Dad?” Asked Diana to her father.
“He is the suspect that influences me to make you go. Just talk to him as your farewell.” Said her father. Mr. and Mrs. Arifiawan were leaving Diana and Damar came closer to the plane. Diana came closer to Damar.
“I’m sorry…” Said Diana.
“Congratulation… I’m glad to see you can reach your dream.” Replied Damar.
“But, without you. I say so much thanks for everything that you give to me. You’re the only friend that understands me. Thanks so much, Damar. Sorry I can’t give something special for you.”
“No problem. I always stay in Indonesia until you back. Just don’t be too proud of what you get. Take heart.”
“I will.”
“By the way… I want to tell you something.” Said Damar with a little nervous.
“What is that?” Asked Diana curiously.
“Diana, I…..” Suddenly, Damar’s words were stopped.
“What’s the matter, Damar?”
“I…..”
Because the plane was going to take off, Mrs. Arifiawan asked Diana to leave Damar.
“Diana, we should take off now. Come on, say goodbye to Damar.”
“I’m sorry Damar, I should go now. Thanks for everything. If you want to tell about something, please send message to me. Goodbye. I’ll be missed you.” Diana and her family then were entering the plane. Damar just could watch them at the outside. The last words for Diana just could be said after Diana had gone.
“I….. Love you… so much.” Damar was so sad about that. He could not be honest about his feeling to Diana, but then he smiled for a while because he realized something.
“I and Diana are same. Unmentionable is our choice. But, she is luckier than me. :)”
Damar waved to the plane and then left the airport.